Of Mules and Men: the Integrative Training Method

I just got back from a funeral in my small hometown, Mona. It was a joyful occasion, a time to renew acquaintance and celebrate a well-lived life. Mona lost one of its venerable old patriarchs. The anguish of loss is sweet when there are no regrets, and Maurice drove a swather through life that cut a windrow of good in the lives of his neighbors. I haven't lived in Mona for 22 years, 11 months, and 25 days, but Maurice Kay and his family are part of my circle of life. Their mark is difficult to measure. Maurice raised an honorable family on his farm in Mona. He educated his kids with an Integrative ethic, where they learned by being part of their parent's livelihood. The resulting product is a posterity of men and women with backbone and vitality, who conduct life with dignity. I salute you, Kay Family. The world needs more of your kind.

I have watched an interesting shift in our culture and our child-raising ethics come roaring into life over the past 30 years. It seems like today, we build a Disneyland world for our kids, quite insulated from our own adult world, and use it to carefully coddle their upbringing--fearing that we might make them uncomfortable or that they may offend our adult activities if they venture out of their bubble.

Growing up in Mona instilled that Integrative Child Raising Method in my genes. Chantra and I instinctively started bringing our kids into our adult lives as soon as they were born. We included them in all of our activities and adventures. Rarely do I recall creating kid activities that were designed just for their sole entertainment. They have seen my business dealings, attended Rotary and other grown up community functions with me, and have been fully included in all of our explorations. They don't even get to cry their way out of church meetings. I don't know how much of it is in their genes, or how much of it is this inclusive parenting style, but to know my kids is to be impressed by their bearing.

I enjoy raising my mules using the Integrative Method. I take my babies almost every where I go and try to expose them to as many positive external experiences as I can. Mules are a fabulous conveyance for exploring the world and I want them confident when its time to start riding them. Using the Integrative Method, my kids are great Mule-training aids. Using the Integrative Method, my mules are great Kid-training aids. Of Mules and Men: its all about being a Dad. Papa Gooch, thanks for your example. Son? Follow my trail.

Senator at 1 year old

5-year-old Preston

High Octane Mule on the Dad-Trail

Of all the trails a man rides in this world, the Dad-trail ain't for sissies. Show-horses or pleasure boats need not apply. The Dad-trail is a technical and treacherous ascent through some ledges that appear impossible to navigate from below. Falling down on the Dad-trail in some places could mean a plunge to the boulder-strewn valley below. For this steep pull, you better have a solid, High-Octane Mule under saddle that knows where to put its feet. And you better have a steady heart that can stand having its fear of heights tickled.

Raising kids, especially girl-kids, terrifies the alert parent. Unless you live in a cave, the strident din of exploitative and seductive messages aimed at our daughters is unavoidable. Add that to the busy noise of well meaning experts and you face an importunate quest. So take this daughter of mine. She's the older of two girl-kids, and she has three brothers. At the age of 13, we are only two thirds up the Dad-trail. AND she is AMAZING! Such hyperbolic platitude is all the descriptive power I can muster to lay bare the swell I feel in my heart for her. I've used all the Dad-tools I know to help her get a proper start in life: Godly love, music, curiosity and the desire for learning, firm discipline, horse-sense, and chores without the possibility of parole.

Imagine the surge of systemic shock that burned through my veins this past week when I learned that Child Protective Services had taken her from the middle of a test in class for an unexpected interview. Some anonymous soul had filed a complaint with the State. After some very personal questions about the people who live in my home, he finally asked my sweet girl-kid if she ever felt afraid around me.

"Pshshshaw! You kiddin'? If you saw the places we go together on mules, you'd never ask that question!" Apparently we passed the official inquisition with flying colors...

(These photos were taken today on the Haslem trail. My 13 year old girl-kid skinned this 2 year old mule all by her self.)